i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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