i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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