Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
