proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
