Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
