Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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