Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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