Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
