He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
