Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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