careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Randomize
