I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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