Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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