real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
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