I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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