She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
