I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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