Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
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