Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
