wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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