marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
