I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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