Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Randomize
