Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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