I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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