you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
