We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
