Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize