Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
