she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Dicks are not precious.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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