Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
