and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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