Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
