piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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