So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
