i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
