sorry about calling you the devil all night.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
You ate ashes out of my bong
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
