Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize
