I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
