I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
