i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
