Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
