ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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