Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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