All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
You ruined the universe
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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