Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
