I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize