So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
im holly from the hills drunk
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
