i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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