is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
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