You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
