Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Farmville is her only friend.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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