yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
