I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Randomize
