You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
