So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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