Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
