Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
