Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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