They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
