The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
