Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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