"it" just moved
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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